A lot of people believe that self-care is selfish, but it’s far from it. When you’re not taking care of yourself, you have less to give to others. And as the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup. The more love and care you give to yourself, the more love and care you can give to others. If you’re always putting yourself last on your list, you’re robbing the world of your true magnificence. People are getting a pale version of you. They deserve the fullness of who you are.

Most of the time we do what we do because of society’s assumptions and expectations. We’re conditioned to play the roles society has created. No wonder we feel depleted at the end of the day – we didn’t get to do what we really wanted to do. So what’s the solution? Decide to break free from society’s expectations and give yourself the love and care you need and deserve.

How can you find time for you? Here’s a simple way:  write down each and everything you’re doing from the time you wake up until the time you go to bed. The next day, look at what you wrote down and for each thing you did, ask yourself:

  • Why am I doing it?
  • Do I want to do it?
  • How does it make me feel?
  • Is it serving me?
  • Is it draining my energy or is it boosting my energy level?
  • Is it absolutely necessary?

Take some time to really reflect on each of these questions. As you go through this process, you’ll gain an awareness of where you’re wasting your time and energy on something that is not beneficial to you, and where you can make changes in order to have more time to do what makes you come alive.

Do things that boost your energy, for example: go outside to get natural light and fresh air, walk in nature, listen to uplifting music, sing out loud, dance to your favorite songs, do something funHere are some ways you can take care of yourself:

  • Do something creative. When we were kids, we were naturally creative. I remember loving to play with colors when I was young. Several years ago, I started painting to play with colors again. It really made my heart sing. When I paint, I totally lose track of time and it feels so good to let my intuition take over. Did you know that creativity reduces anxiety, depression, and stress? It also exercises neural networks in the brain and helps you process trauma. So think back when you were a kid; what did you like to do? It doesn’t have to be something artistic. It could be anything that uses your imagination and/or your intuition.
  • Listen to your body; sleep or rest when you feel tired.
  • Let yourself feel whatever you’re feeling – instead of judging yourself for feeling these emotions. Simply feel your emotions while breathing slowly. The breath will move the emotions out of your body faster.
  • Say NO when you don’t want to do something. If the person who is asking something from you reacts negatively, it means they’re unconsciously trying to control you. Decide you’re done being controlled.
  • “Reparent” your inner child. When we’re born, we love ourselves completely. Love is natural. But as we grow up, we lose that self-love through difficult experiences which make us feel there’s something wrong with us. One of the ways you can learn to love yourself again is by “reparenting” your wounded inner child:
    • Ask him or her what they need and listen to the answer. Sometimes they just want to feel safe. Comfort him or her.
    • Ask him or her what they want to do and do that. Even if it feels stupid or weird. Avoid judging him or her.
    • Give him or her the attention, the affection they need. For example, if they need affection or someone to listen to them, simply invite them to sit on your lap, take them into your arms and tell them: “I’m here for you, I’m listening. I’ll take care of you. What’s wrong? What are you afraid of? » The more you practice reparenting, the easier it’ll get.
    • Talk to them as you were their parent. Tell them you love them; you hear them; they didn’t deserve what happened to them; you’re sorry; you forgive them; thank you; that they did their best.
  • Try new things or activities. You’ll never know your full potential unless you attempt new things. You might discover an amazing new talent you never knew you had!

Remember, if you’re not taking care of yourself, you’re robbing the world of your true magnificence. People deserve the fullness of who you are. And so do you!

Sylvie Grégoire