Does standing out scare you?

We all want to be loved, it’s normal, we’re human. But if you live your life in order to get other people’s love and approval, you’re not living authentically. You’re scared of standing out, and you’re stopping yourself from being yourself, your true self. You’re behaving in a way you think people will approve of.

If you’re not being yourself and you get people’s love and approval, then what they love and approve of is a fake version of you. What’s the point in that? They don’t love the real you. So why not be the real you and then, when people love you, you’ll know they truly love you because they love the real you. You don’t want fake love – you want real love, right?

The people who live their whole lives for other people’s love and approval end up feeling empty. There’s a hole in their life that they try to fill by shopping, drinking, overeating, smoking, doing drugs or any other behaviour that numbs the pain of not feeling whole, of not being true to themselves.

I’m not judging anybody here. How you live your life is totally up to you. Every day, you get to choose how you want to live. Nobody can decide for you. But you have to choose.

If this resonates, and you want to feel whole, it means you’re ready. When you start to be unapologetically you, some friends will fall away. And that’s ok, because they were friends with the fake you. It wasn’t an authentic friendship. The relationships you attract when you’re being authentic are real. And that’s what we want. True friendships. True love.

When you’re being the real you, of course you’ll stand out. The people who are not authentic will feel threatened by you – they’ll show it by criticizing you or judging you. Remember they’re simply scared. They’re not ready to be themselves yet.

The more you practice being yourself, the more you’ll realize how liberating it is not to need other people’s approval. You’ll feel really free for the first time in your life. Free to be you. To me, that’s one of the greatest freedoms there is.

And yes, standing out is scary at first, but that’s the only way you truly get to live your life.

– Sylvie Grégoire